I'm not use to being loved without condition without feeling the need to work for it. I've always thought that I needed to earn love, work towards it or manipulate my way into getting it. I've always been a "good" girl, try hard, overextend myself type of person to gain the approval and validation from those I love and care about. This is why grace was and still is a hard concept for me to grasps.
And in all of my relationships be it family, friendships or dating I "overdo", overanalyze and overthink. This is toxic. I've messed up, ended and even destroyed a lot of potentially good relationships prematurely. One in particular really breaks my heart and I'm praying that God will restore or atleast help me learn from it so that I wont continue to make the same mistake.
The thing about God revealing your heart and the brokenness thereof is that His grace finds a way into the cracks and heals us from our past and current strongholds. He is able to heal you, redeem you and restore.
My desire is to experience a love that isnt based on condition, that isnt based on what I can and cannot do but solely based on unconditional love. But not only that, I desire to be able with Gods help to extend this same love to others. And the awesome part is that my deliverance and restoration from this try hard life that I've been living has already happened on the cross. Jesus died for me, knowing that I would still struggle and fall short.
I just have to walk in this truth. Forgive myself and acknowledge that I will fail and make mistakes along the way. Not to abuse grace but to realize that it's obviously there for a reason. I pray for the Holy Spirits leading as I learn to love better.
If you're battling with trying to earn validation, love and acceptance I pray that you will rest in knowing that you already HAVE IT!
Rest in Gods grace and love. The creator of ALL things loves YOU. You are precious to Him. Walk in that. These are such simple truths that we all at one point or another struggle with but hold tightly to Gods word and who HE IS!
Grace wins ♡