My Desire is to Inspire | Christian Blog

This morning my mom called. She had called me late last night but I was asleep. This morning she called again and I instantly knew something was off. I woke up this morning expecting to have a great day just because I went to bed at a good time the night before and woke up and made a smoothie. I've always hated Mondays, a lot of the worse days of my life or most frustrating days seemed to be on Mondays. Today was no different. I called my mom back and she begin to tell me that my cousin Edward aka "Junior" died last night. Not only did he die but he died in the basement of my Aunts, his mom's house. The same place my other cousin Eric died 5 years ago. They were brothers, Eric was the youngest. I was heartbroken and instantly broke out in tears. Eric was one of my favorite cousins on my mom's side of the family, we shared a love for art. When he died just 8 days after I moved to Dallas, I was devastated. I moved to Dallas on July 7, 2017, and he died on July 15th....

First, let me start by saying Happy New Year!!!!!! I pray this year is a blessed year for you and your family. I pray for God to show up in your life to remind you that He is always near to His own. I know I had to continue to remind myself of that truth in 2022 and for the rest of my life, it will be engraved on my heart. I'm so thankful that no matter what happens in this life when we place our faith and trust in God He is able to sustain us through the most difficult times in life. I don't know about you but 2022 was a difficult season for me. And I say season because I knew that a lot that took place would cause a shift in my norm that would only be for a season, at least I hoped. But I wasn't prepared for all of the coping and suppressing my own feelings it would take to get through it. I was in survival mode all of 2022, kind of similar to how I felt when the pandemic first happened in 2020. I just did what I could to survive and make it to the next day. By the Grace ...

Restoration: the action of returning something to a former owner, place, or condition. Psalm 51:12 says "Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. A familiar prayer, a familiar place.  Restore to me the joy of your salvation. Give me the joy I had when I first got saved. Uphold me with a willing spirit. Help me to willingly surrender my life and desires to you. God is all about restoration. In fact, in the past, present and future He is actively restoring what was lost in the Garden of Eden when Adam and Eve sinned. God sent His only begotten Son to restore our broken relationship with Him. Revelation talks about how He will restore the Earth when Jesus comes back. Acts 3:21 21 Heaven must receive him until the time comes for God to restore everything, as he promised long ago through his holy prophets. Even in our day to day God is in the business of restoring. He is restoring broken relationships, friendships, families, finances, health, hopes,...

"You can turn it all around, It’s hard to understand sometimes, Is there a master plan? How do I make sense of everything I’m going through? Maybe it’s not ours to know so we have to learn to let things go. And simply try to make the most of every day. And have faith that somehow we will find our way. So count it all joy, All that you’re going through. No matter what you’re going through Even when you’re feeling down Count it all joy, Each moment's a gift to you No matter what you're going through So turn it all around." To listen click here: Count it all joy - Bebe & CeCe Winans I grew up listening to that song and it means more to me now than it did when my parents would play it throughout the house as a kid. My dad would always tell me growing up to “Count it all joy”, now as an adult I can better understand the magnitude of what that means. In James 1:2-4 it says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because yo...

"So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us."  1 John 4:16 Love. We all crave it, we all desire it. We seek after it sometimes in all the wrong places. Yet, it's right in front of us, pursuing us constantly with no hesitations.  When I think about how I've sought after love in the wrong men. How I've sought after love in the wrong spaces and even how I manage to push people that I know love me away out of fear. To know that a perfect being loves me so purely and so much that He chose to die on the cross for me lights a fire in me that I have never felt. To know that He chooses to love me through my fears is everything to me. The last blog I wrote about love and I normally don't talk about this subject publicly that much but for whatever reason this season is making me press into it. To hear about love, want it and seek after it is one thing but to realize that it's already present and active in my life hits differently....

Sometimes when I hear something over and over again it starts to become redundant and not as valuable to me as the first time I heard it. I want to expound on that for a moment to remind you of what that means. Jesus loves you. Romans 5:8 But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners , Christ died for us. We are conditioned to feel like we have to work and earn love. As much as we desire to give and receive unconditional love it is a hard task for us as humans. We are conditioned to expect things in return when we give anything to others. This is why the Bible talks about denying self so much because that is exactly what Christ did 2000 years ago for us. While we were dead in our sins, He died for us. Philippians 2:4-8 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness...

2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on m e. That is one of my favorite verses! Gods Grace is sufficient enough to carry us through whatever life throws at us. It is difficult to be vulnerable sometimes and express that we are struggling. Its easier to boast about our strengths rather than our weaknesses. It can be uncomfortable and maybe a little scary to admit that things aren't going well and reach out and ask for help. --- One thing that Im continously learning is that my dependence has to be in Christ. Everything in this world is fleeting, vain and unreliable. Paul knew what hardship looked like, I read about him and wonder how he was able to write letters and encourage others when he was suffering tremendously himself. But God. -- SUFFICIENT = ENOUGH, CONSTANTLY AVAILABLE....

Okay this is very uncomfortable for me to share, very very uncomfortable. However, because of that very reason and because I believe that God can do the impossible I'm sharing this prayer I wrote about 4 years ago.  I really believe that God will provide in His time with an amazing man that will be worth the wait. ( He's a giver of good gifts, AMEN ). In the meantime, I'm sharing this because I also prayed for me in this prayer and I'm able to look back and see that in the last 4 years God has been working on me in a lot of the areas that I included in this prayer. How faithful is He. I'm literally seeing how things are working together on my end before the ring which gives me hope that maybe just maybe on his end it is also working . Thats why I'm putting this prayer out there, to encourage you to pray diligently for your one day spouse but also that God also does a work in you before the ring. We are all works in progress and we will continue to b...

If you're single like me, February may bring about some anxiety and maybe even insecurities. I will be honest and say I have dreaded Valentines day for many years now. The fear that I may forever be single creeps in the most around this time of year.  I get it. You've probably thought last year was going to look different and you ended up spending it alone without a significant other. You've probably prayed the same prayer a thousand times. Like most single Christian women, "Lord, where is my Boaz?". (I wonder what guys pray, Lord send my Ruth? Hmm... I digress). Maybe you've given up on the idea that it will happen for you. I get it. Maybe you've grown cynical and weary in your wait. I get it.  I get it. Every spiritual and practical thing that can be said, has been said to help singles get through the difficult lonely seasons that come with it. Some great, some harmful, and some just outright unnecessary. Like the notion "you have to be ...

"TRUST. That is God’s answer. And in that moment I realized just how beautiful and perfect that answer is. I realized exactly why He hadn’t given me the clarity I had so desired. Because of His enormous love for me and because it is the last thing I actually needed in that moment. Every deep, intimate relationship is rooted in Trust. Of course Love is at the core of the relationship but without trust you can’t have love. I realized God is about relationship. He is about love ultimately. He wants to go on the journey WITH me.  In that moment a weight lifted.And I felt so much freedom because I didn’t feel the weight of having to “make the right decision” anymore. It made me realize God is all about the process exactly because that is the part that draws me closer to Him. And for the first time I was able to exhale and learn to simply enjoy the process and the experience of real life giving trust. I realized that clarity will come eventually but not without first walking...

Jonathan Evans said one time at a event I attended at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship that we are serving the wrong trinity. Emphasizing that we are serving "Me, myself and I". Right there conviction hit me hard. What a timely message wrapped up in just a few words. As hard as it was to hear I was so thankful he said it. It's so easy to be wrapped up in our own lives and gradually grow selfish but God is calling us to be selfless. To be selfless with our time, resources and our lives. He's calling us to examine our motives and our heart. He's calling us to be like Jesus and lay down our lives for others. This isn't always easy. In fact it is harder in difficult moments when life is difficult and our own challenges consume us. During these times especially is when we should refocus our attention on serving others and our relationship with God. Joy comes when we help others. Joy comes when we realize that we aren't alone in this world fighting through difficu...

Apathy  is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, or passion. An  apathetic  individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical, or physical life and the world. Ever felt out of touch with reality? Ever felt like you were just going through the motions of life? There's a possibility that you could be dealing with some level of apathy. Which is normal, we all deal with this from time to time.  But how about when you feel apathetic towards the things of God like church, serving, reading your bible or praying. I can deal with feeling apathetic towards worldly things, like going to work, or cooking and cleaning but when it comes to God and what He requires of me as a Christian, I wrestle with apathy more. I can tell when apathy is starting to overcome me because my attitude gets bad and I become overly emotional and distant.  I've rea...

I recently heard someone say how it is possible for two things to be true at once . Although they were referring to a completely different topic it made me think about God and how a lot of times we forget that all of His attributes work together in perfect harmony . For example a lot of people believe that God is all love but not just and angry at sin. Then on the other side we hear about how God is angry but forget that He is also merciful, slow to anger and patient. When we distort God's attributes and character we present to people a false God that isn't of the Bible. This can be very dangerous and very hard not to do but it is absolutely necessary.  "The Christian life from one angle is the long journey of letting our natural assumption about who God is, over many decades, fall away, being slowly replaced with God's own insistence on who He is.  This is hard work. It takes a lot of sermons and a lot of suffering to believe that God's deepest heart i...

Luke 5:16 But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed. Jesus set the example for how we as believers should live our lives. He set the example of how we should care for others and make time to pray. The world is going crazy right now and everything feels so uneasy and heavy. Especially today with everything that happened at the White House. Lawlessness and chaos is becoming so normal and its heartbreaking to see the state of the world. As believers it is our duty to pray, especially in times like these.  Growing up my grandma would always tell me to go in my closet and pray. Pray about everything because God hears me. Then I didn't have the relationship that I have with God now but I would pray. I look back now and can see how those sweet moments have helped shape my faith and relationship with God today. So thankful for my grandma teaching me early on how important prayer is. "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand ...

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is side eyeing 2021 looking to see what big thing is going to happen this year that throws off our plans and our idea of how life should go. The past few days I've talked about expectations a lot and how when they aren't met we grow disappointed and sometimes even cynical.  We all have expectations on how we think our lives should go and how our relationships should be. Often times for many of us, especially in 2020 our expectations have been let down. From travel plans being cancelled to not being able to spend the holidays with family as normal. At some point we've all experienced disappointment in 2020. Unmet expectations and disappointments can grow any heart hard and distant if not careful. I know because I've been there. When we place our hopes in dreams in this world, it is inevitable that disappointment will come. The Bible says in John 16:33 that we will have trouble in this world. We will be disappointed an...

The Lord directs the steps of the Godly. He delights in every detail of their life. Psalms 37:23 Are you at a crossroads with trying to make a really tough decision? Have you continously sought the Lord about something to no prevail? Are you fed up with waiting to hear from God on what you should do next? A few months back I was in South Carolina visiting a friend and her family. I spoke with her brother and sister in law about how I just felt like God wasn't hearing my prayers. I expressed how I was growing weary and needing to make a decision soon on rather to return home or give Texas another year. I also shared with them that I desired belonging, something that I had effortlessly back home. (This year taught me vulnerability I must admit because I went from being very closed off about my weaknesses to sharing them unashamedly. I guess I just came to a place of surrender, seeking answers and direction from whomever could provide them. Crossroads do that.) Her sibli...

Sometimes the cloudiness of life blurs our vision. There are seasons when our faith is strong and our hope is solid. But then there are seasons when we walk through fogs, consumed with doubt and fear. What I'm learning and I'm sure will continue to learn is that God is faithful in these foggy seasons. When it seems like your prayers are going unanswered, when it seems like you're all alone without a helper or comforter, when it seems like its never going to end or your hope is deferred; please know that God is in this season with you.  One of my favorite quotes is the "The teacher is always silent during the test". How true is that and when applied to our journey with Christ, it seems to be even more true.  I'm convinced that seasons when God seems quiet and doesn't seem to be moving in your life and your prayers seem to be going unanswered is when the complete opposite is taking place.  This year more than ever before I've ...